February 6 = Finish a Movie Day

One of my Facebook friends posted a rave review of a movie she had finished watching, "Mom's Night Out."  So I immediately logged on to the library's website and put a hold on it.  It didn't take long for me to get the email telling me it was ready- it's not a terribly popular movie and it's incredibly cheesy but the friend who reviewed it and I have very similar day to day lives and I figured if she loved it, I might would too.  I'm so glad I got this movie.  It opens with a stay-at-home-mom navigating through all the things that go wrong in a typical day and the struggle to be a good, engaged mom while keeping the house somewhat clean with clean dishes to eat off of and clean clothes for everyone to wear- it's hard!  I love watching stuff like this because it makes me feel like I'm justified when at the end of the day I'm wondering where the time went and if I really did make the most of the day.  It makes me feel like I'm not alone in wondering if all I have to give is good enough.  I do not ever want this to make anyone think I am complaining about my life- I am very aware that I am so very blessed to have the opportunity to stay at home with my kids and I wouldn't have it any other way.  But it is hard.  I have two bosses who are very demanding and not very clear on their expectations.  Sometimes after putting Liam to bed, when I shut the door and very stereotypically blow my bangs out of my eyes- and I come out to living room with a fussy baby and a basket of laundry that needs to be folded, I ask myself why I didn't do better- clean more, play more, love more.  This scene near the end of the movie really spoke to me and by spoke to me, I mean made me cry.

Alyson: "No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I give, I'm just not enough."

Bones (a tattooed Trace Adkins): For who?

Alyson: "I mean, Sean, the kids, my mother, God, everybody, I don't know."

Bones: "You?  Not enough for you. I was raised in church... My momma worked 3 jobs.  I never met my daddy.  I had to get up early and walk to school but I'd wait up for her coming home from the diner.  I'd wait up every night because she'd come home and she'd put me to bed and she'd tell me something.  She'd tell me the same thing every night.  He loves you, Charles, no matter who you are, no matter what you do or how far you run.  Jesus will always be loving you with his arms open wide just for being you and I'd smile and go to sleep.  You know, I saw something on Pinterest the other day- it was an eagle just caring for its young.  It's a beautiful thing to watch one of God's creations just doing what he made it to do- just being an eagle and that's enough. Y'all spend so much time beating yourselves up.  It must be exhausting.  Let me tell you something, girl.  I doubt the good Lord made a mistake giving your kiddos the momma he did.  So you just be you.  He'll take care of the rest."

So there we go.  From now on, at the end of the day when I'm questioning myself, I'll picture Trace Adkins telling me, "You just be you.  He'll take care of the rest."

December 24 = Christmas Eve

It's Christmas Eve!  The day started off pretty normally- Liam had a speech appointment that Grammy and Matt took him to and Gramps stayed home with Malia so Zachary and I could go to the gym without any babies.  We got home, showered and then my parents and I went out to participate in my dad's favorite Christmas tradition- Christmas Eve last minute shopping!  We went to Target and they got Malia some rattle socks- very cute- and I got her something for her new crib that will be in her new room very soon- after my family heads home, we're moving Liam to his room and Malia into hers.  When we moved in, we made the room with the crib Malia's room- we made it pink and green and just had Liam sleep in it thinking that by the time she was ready to move into her crib, he'd be ready for a big boy bed.  We were wrong.  So we were very lucky and had a crib given to us that we've put in Malia's room and we need to move Liam's crib into his baseball room.  It'll be a big adjustment for all of us!  But I digress.  Then we came home and opened a few presents.  Uncle Matt got Malia some adorable red pants with white "fur" on the bottom so we paired that with a funny bib Great Granny Jean got (Liam has worn it too).  

Dad and Zachary made dinner- it's a marinated grilled chicken recipe that I have no idea how to spell but it's delicious.  So we had that, rice, and green beans.  Liam loved it which is always a good thing.  We were planning on going to Christmas Eve service but we weren't sure if they would have childcare so my parents decided they wanted to stay home with the kids and Zachary and I didn't want to go if we were the only ones going so we got them dressed up like we were going and then took tons of pictures.

Then we started a new Christmas tradition that I hope we will continue every year.  I had gotten a movie for us to watch a few weeks back- Despicable Me II- and I got Liam some new PJs.  Malia already had two sets of Christmas PJs so we got them both festively dressed and sat down to the movie.