June 24 = Melt Mommy's Heart Day

People often ask me which of my two pregnancies has been harder.  It's a tough question to answer.  Liam's pregnancy was full of tests and monitoring and bed rest.  I thought it was normal to get blood drawn during every appointment.  However, when I was pregnant with Liam, Liam was the only thing I had to concentrate on.  Every Tuesday, I would get TheBump.com telling me what fruit he was the same size as and I would read about his developing fingernails or growing hair.  When people would ask me how far along I was, I would annoyingly reply with the number of weeks and days.  With Malia, I know when the due date is and that's usually what I cite as an answer and I make that person figure it out because my pregnancy brain prevents me from doing so.  With this pregnancy, I've had blood drawn twice- once at the beginning for baseline labs and once because I asked for it.  Oh- three times- I forgot about the glucose tolerance test because unlike with Liam, with Malia, I passed the first time and didn't have to endure the second, four hour, four blood draws test.  At this point in my pregnancy with Liam, I was driving 45 minutes at least once a week to get a non-stress test.  This was supposed to be a 20 minute test where they hooked me up, watched non-existent contractions and let me go.  It always turned into a 6+ hour test where they hooked me up, watched crazy looking contractions that I couldn't feel and didn't let me eat just in case they had to do an emergency c-section.  And Zachary was gone.  I'd ask the nurses to please let me know if/when it was appropriate to let my husband know- thank goodness it never came down to that but there were so many anxiety producing times.  With Malia we had two scares- the first was when her heart rate was really low, really early in the pregnancy.  The doctor told me at the next appointment, after her heart rate had risen significantly, that she didn't expect to find a heart beat at all that appointment.  The other scare came halfway through the pregnancy when she was measuring at the 8th percentile but that was resolved too- she's now above the 30th.  Other than that, I go in, they listen to the heart rate, measure my belly, ask if I have any questions and send me on my way.  So in that regard, this pregnancy has been easier, hands-down.  On the other hand- being pregnant while chasing a toddler has been a real challenge.  At this point in Liam's pregnancy, I was on bed rest.  Now, I'm carrying Liam to and from the car.  I'm lifting him up on the changing table, squeezing my belly against his crib to bend down to get him out, squatting down while holding Liam to pick up whatever he's dropped on the floor, doing twice as much laundry, dishes and picking up 10 times as much stuff.  It's rough.  This is all to tell you about how Liam melted my heart today.  I was picking up puzzle pieces from the floor and putting them in the right places.  Bending over hurts so bad so I just decided to sit down halfway through.  When I finished putting the puzzle back together, I didn't get up right away.  It's hard to get up sometimes.  Liam was in the kitchen where I could see him and he was entertaining himself playing with a Hess Helicopter his Uncle Matt gave him for Christmas so I gave myself a few minutes of just sitting in the middle of the hallway.  Liam looked up and saw me; I smiled at him.  He got up, brought over the helicopter, sat two feet away from me and went back to playing.  Now a lot of mommies have boys who come up and hug them all the time or want to be in their laps... Liam is not one of them.  So for him to voluntarily come and sit next to me to play, made my day, my week, my life.

I got up and got my phone so I could take this picture to always remember how sweet he was and he sat there for a few more minutes.  Eventually he got up to find something else to play with but he had done his good deed of the day.  And then 10 minutes later- my husband comes home with these!

I asked, "Awwwww, what are these for?!" and he said they were for being such a "good little wifey."

Note to self: Read this on a bad day and remember you are loved.

June 23 = Upgrade the Car Day

Zachary and I are 26 years old and now the proud(ish) owners of a mini-van.  If you had told me 5 years ago I'd be driving a van in my mind 20's, I would have... well actually I would have believed you but it's still a tad bit jarring.  We had to buy a new car seat for Malia because the one we used for Liam, which would have been perfectly acceptable, got mold in it because unbeknownst to us, the storage unit downstairs gets damp and gross when it rains and so anything with fabric on it, you can kiss goodbye.  We had to let go of the car seat and the stroller that the car seat conveniently fits into because both were ruined.  We figured we probably won't use a single stroller for a long, long time so we just got a new car seat.  I was going to have Zachary install it in the CRV so that we could all get used to it- Liam having a back seat buddy and us having our storage space significantly decreased.  Zachary pointed out that it was going to be a tight squeeze.  Now we aren't driving my old Honda Civic here... we originally got the CRV because we thought it would be a good family car.  And if you had a child who didn't require a car seat and one who did, I think the fit would be a bit better but when you have to shove two car seats in that back seat, there's no room for anything in the backseat- no groceries, no diaper bag, certainly no other humans. 

We had been joking about needing a van but reality set in when we tried to picture the two car seats in the back seat and the huge double stroller in the back.  So I went online just to look at how old this new purchase was going to make me look and they had a deal on their Siennas, 0% interest for 5 years plus $1500 cash back.  The 0% interest piqued my interest for sure.  So I did my research to make sure it was a safe, reliable car and Zachary put in requests at different dealerships around here- we went to one last night and after about 4.5 hours consisting of a test drive, Zachary having to big boy the dealer and Liam making it very clear this was not how he wanted to spend his Monday night, we drove home a 2014 Shoreline Blue, AWD Toyota Sienna. 

 

I have yet to drive it- I'm slightly terrified to.  I remember when I got the CRV after only having driven my tiny Honda Civic I was very intimidated.  I'm hoping I adapt well.  But I love it!  You can set three different temperatures for the driver, front passenger and the back of the van; the third row folds down flat for extra storage if you only have four people riding; the back doors open with the push of a button- either in the back, in the front or on the keys; there's a special place for my purse so I don't have to ride with it at my feet anymore... I've only been in it for a combined total of maybe 20 minutes so I'm sure there will be other things I love about it but mainly, my little family of four can be comfortable and safe!

Our main method of entertainment for Liam was providing him with unlimited fruit snacks and letting him crawl around the cars that were on display inside.  Note: You may not want to buy cars that have been on display because more than likely there have been two desperate parents who let their child crawl around and drool all over said car.

June 22 = Try Out New Stroller Day

Oh the joys and challenges of having two children really close in age.  Two car seats in the car for the foreseeable future since, in Maryland at least, children have to be in a "child safety seat" until they are 57 inches tall or 7 years old.  The days of getting the super light, easily maneuverable umbrella stroller out of the back of the CRV and heading inside the store are coming to an end.  Cue internet searches for "Honda Odyssey vs. Toyota Sienna" and a double stroller!  I have been going to the YMCA for walking because the heat and the hills do not agree well with my current 35 weeks pregnant status but this particular night it was great; the temperature was perfect and I felt like I could benefit from some fresh air so we hit the sidewalks instead and decided to see how Liam liked the double stroller.  He held on the whole time, acting like he was steering and he was very alert.  He loved it!

June 20 = Hang out with Joey Day

Liam woke up so happy today and has been uncharacteristically easy going today.  He's been just sitting or laying on the couch for 10 minutes at a time.  Joey has been running away from Liam because of Liam's innocently rough nature but because he's so calm today, Joey stuck around.

Also, because this is such a rare catch, here's Liam just lounging on the couch:

June 18 = Church Softball Day

Last night was Zachary's first softball game with the church we've gone two twice now.  It was some kind of hot.  We came armed with ice packs, a Tervis tumbler full of ice, a water bottle filled with ice water, cold juice, sun screen, a picnic blanket a bag of toys.  These fields are not the most professional fields you've ever seen- there's no fence to speak of, only a backstop.  There are orange cones separating the fields and serving as the foul line.  So there are no dugouts which means Zachary got to hang out with us while our team was batting (which didn't last very long).  Our team lost even with a double and a home run by Zachary but he had fun and we met a few super nice people; we even had three other kids sitting on our blanket playing with Liam's toys.  Liam is a very good sharer, thank goodness because the other kids didn't share his skill.

Also, we have a crazy cat.

June 17 = Crazy Hair Day

Not a lot to say about this picture.  It looks like he's saying, "Deal with it, Lady."

June 16 = Put Together a Desk Day

When we moved to Maryland, it was the first time we let the military move us instead of doing it ourselves.  It was so nice not to have to stress about packing and not having to carry in countless boxes in the heat.  The only downside is we had quite a few damaged objects.  There is now a hole in the back of our bookcase and the stairs for the bunk bed we bought Liam 2 days before we moved has a crack down the side but the worst damage happened to our desk.  One leg snapped in two pieces and the shelf that the keyboard rests on wouldn't slide in and out.  So our plan was to wait until we were reimbursed for the damages and then buy a new desk.  The hole in the bookcase is covered by the far too many books we own and the stairs are against the wall so you can't see the crack but the desk really wasn't functional.  After we waited over a month and a half and still had not been reimbursed, we decided to go ahead and get another desk- especially with Zachary having so many papers to write.  Now he has a nice space to spread out his books and papers.  Liam's favorite part of the desk was- shocking- the box it came in!  Here are some pictures of him crawling up and down the boxes.

I also snapped some pictures of Liam walking on the treadmill at PT.  We had an interesting PT visit this week.  Normally, when we drop Liam off at the church nursery or the Kid Zone at the Y, he has no reaction.  We mentioned this at his Infants & Toddlers Program evaluation because it's always been interesting to me.  The evaluation was on Thursday and that night, Zachary took Liam to the Y and he got upset when Zachary walked away.  He did it again Friday and Saturday and then Sunday he cried when we dropped him off in the church nursery.  So when we went to PT on Monday, I warned the physical therapist of this new development and she invited me to come back.  That's when I snapped the pictures of him on the treadmill but he was upset because he could see me but wasn't allowed to be near me.  So the physical therapist and I decided it'd be best if I went back out to the waiting room.  He got pretty upset but eventually moved on and had a good session.

Using this, the physical therapist is able to use her hands to keep his legs closer together instead of using them to keep him upright.  Beginning walkers walk with their feet far apart because it gives them more stability so this is a good way for him to work on narrowing his stance.  I know he doesn't look happy but I do think it's pretty neat that they have this available for him!  Maybe with time he will learn to love it :)

June 15th = Father's Day (A real holiday!)

I love holidays!  I love having a reason to celebrate something- a reason to make a special meal, hang a banner and give a gift.  And when the people you're celebrating are truly amazing, it makes it even better!  Zachary woke up before me but hadn't had breakfast when I got up so I got to make chocolate chip pancakes for him.  I attempted to use my brain power and attempted to start warming up the skillet before I started mixing the batter so that when I was done mixing, I could immediately start cooking.  Well... on our skillet there's a temperature dial and instead of putting the desired temperature on the arrow like I should have, I imagined the arrow was on the opposite side so while I thought it was warming up to 300 degrees, the temperature didn't even make it to "warm."  So I mix the batter, throw the pancakes on and realize they're not looking like they should.  I notice the temperature error and turn it up... well this burned the bottom of the pancakes.  I calmly threw the batter of the four I had started making and scraped the burnt part off and started over with the appropriate temperature.  The second batch stuck to the skillet a little because of the burnt residue I didn't quite get off but the third and fourth batch of four each came out perfect!  Eight pancakes is enough for 3 people so it worked out fine.  Makes it more memorable, right?  After we ate the pancakes, I put the ties I made yesterday for the banner on the twine but there was no way this 8-month pregnant lady was getting in a chair and hanging a banner when I have a perfectly capable husband to help me.  So he helped hang his own banner :)

We then headed off to church.  I went to Trinity UMC with my mom, brother and his girlfriend last week and fell in love so I was so excited to take Zachary this week.  We dropped Liam off in the nursery and picked a seat.  The pastor's wife came over and talked to us and the pastor followed shortly after.  He recruited Zachary for the softball team and everyone was so welcoming yet again.  This is definitely an older congregation which I can illustrate with this next story.  The pastor had some goodie bags that he wanted to give out to special fathers.  The first bag went to the oldest father.  He asked all fathers over 50 to stand.  Zachary was the only one not standing.  He invited those younger than 60 to sit, 65, 70... not very many sat down.  The last three standing were 87 (the preacher's dad), 88 and 89.  Then, as I was hoping, the pastor went in the opposite direction and announced the next bag would be awarded to the man who became a father most recently.  Since Zachary could have been the son of any of the other men in the congregation, he won that one quite handily.  It was a great service- Zachary approved which wasn't surprising.  Then we went to Sammy's Pizza.  Father's day in this little family of ours would not have been complete without some pizza.

Then we came home- Liam and I took naps and Zachary got some school work done- we went and looked for desk but surprisingly Office Depot had a super small selection.  They had one we liked but they were out of stock of all three colors it came in.

Side note: I went on officedepot.com to see if another store somewhat close to us had it and it did- they have store pickup so I went ahead and paid for it online and they'll email me when I can come pick it up- they only had one in stock in the color we preferred so I wanted to go ahead and grab it.  The side note is... I googled "office depot coupon code" and was directed to a link on retailmenot.com... the first thing that popped up was a code you could copy and paste to save $25.  I was skeptical but it worked!  

Then we came home- Liam and I played in his room while Zachary finished his school work for the night just in time for the Heat game.  Here's Zachary and Liam watching: 

It's very rare that he sits still long enough for me to get a picture- maybe he did it today just because it was Father's Day.  These two are quite a pair.

So that was our Father's Day!  Zachary was on deployment for our first Father's Day as a married couple.  The second, we were eagerly anticipating the arrival of Liam.  The third was Zachary's first real Father's day and now, the fourth, we're even more eagerly expecting Malia since she will be here in around a month.  Liam, Malia and I are so blessed to have this wonderful man in our lives and that's definitely worth celebrating!

June 14 = Picnic Day

Today Liam and I entertained ourselves while Zachary did a lot of school work and went to the gym.  We first headed to the library- I have an unhealthy obsession with the Tudor dynasty.  I was always fascinated by the story of Henry VIII's wives so when I saw the show "The Tudors" on Netflix I had to watch.  I watched the entire series way faster than I'd like to admit because Zachary was on his first deployment and it helped pass the time.  Then, recently, I came across a book series by Philippa Gregory starting with The Constant Princess about poor Katherine of Aragon.  I read that one in Jacksonville and then started The Other Boleyn Girl but didn't finish before we moved.  One of the first things I did when we moved to Annapolis was get a library card so I could finish the book.  I finished it yesterday and now I have to see the movie!  I love watching movies after I've read the book.  I say all of this because our first errand today was to go to the library to get the third book in the series, The Boleyn Inheritance, which mentions Jane Seymour and then focuses on his next two wives.  Then we went to Target- my favorite place.  We got hot tamales, mike & ikes, swedish fish, twizzlers and twizzler bits, granola bars and fruit snacks for goodie bags for Fathers' Day.  Then we went to Michael's- another favorite of mine- to get scrapbook paper to make these:

 I'd love to take credit for the idea myself but I found it on Pinterest.  I'm also going to make a "Happy Fathers' Day" banner- also courtesy of Pinterest.  I haven't put the letters on the ties yet but here are the various ties that I'm using:

 I just realized the music notes are upside down.  It's fine.  Moving on.  I made two of each pattern in case you're looking at them and thinking there aren't enough to spell out "Happy Fathers' Day."

So when we got home Liam was way past ready for a nap so I fed him a quick lunch and laid him down and as I was working on all of this Zachary got home from the gym.  So I told him not to look and finished his goodie bags real quick and gave them to him a day early- we never ever wait until the appropriate day to give gifts.  

When Liam woke up from his nap we headed downstairs with a picnic blanket, a bag full of toys, hamburgers, chips, ketchup, cheese, plates, forks and a can-do attitude and Zachary grilled hamburgers while I attempted to entertain Liam.

 The first picture makes it seem as though he is cooperating but as the second picture shows it wasn't long before he wanted to do something different.  I'm pretty excited that I captured him signing "I want."  He always wants something.  If we could get him to sign what exactly it is that he wants we'd have it made.  And the third picture shows our view from the picnic blanket.  If you look closely you can see the water through the trees- it was so pretty outside- the perfect day for a cookout/picnic.

Liam ate 3/4ths of a full hamburger and all of his macaroni and cheese.  He is his daddy's son- loves that mac 'n' cheese.

After we finished eating we started going through some boxes that were thrown together right before we moved.  Liam was not a fan of this boring work so we didn't last long in the garage.  We brought him upstairs so he could play and he kept bringing Zachary various articles of clothing to put on him.  This is completely off topic from the rest of this post but I had to share because he thought it was so funny to put all of these clothes on and one of his favorite things is making others laugh and he sure succeeded.

And one last set of pictures... last year for Valentine's Day I took pictures of Liam holding the letters spelling out "dad."  Last year it was much, much easier because Liam had no interest in the letters- he just let them rest against him and was really cute for the pictures.  This year I had to take about 20 pictures of each to get one that was acceptable for the frame.

Here's the difference a year makes:

June 12 = Evaluation Day

Today we had Liam's evaluation for the Infants & Toddlers Program that is offered through our county's school system.  Last week a coordinator came out to the house and got some background information on him so she could decide what specialists needed to be at the evaluation today and told us what kinds of services their program offers- they offer PT, OT and speech therapy- and here's the kicker- the therapists come to the house!  In order to qualify there has to be an official diagnosis (NF isn't typically diagnosed until puberty) or the child has to have a 25% delay in development in whatever area(s) you're going for.  So today we drove to an elementary school about 30 minutes away and met with a physical therapist, occupational therapist, speech therapist and the lady that came to our house last week who is a cognitive development specialist.  They had different toys for him to play with and asked us questions and all four of them completed their evaluations at the same time- painless compared to the other evaluations we've had to do since moving up here.  At 21 months, in order for him to be considered 25% or more delayed, he had to measure below 15 months which he did in all four areas.  This was not surprising but what was nice to hear was that in order for him to score at a certain age level, he has to meet all the skills that are judged to be appropriate for that age level.  So he measures at a 12 month level in speech but the speech therapist told us while he had all the skills up to the 12 month level, he also had a strong scattering of skills well past 12 months, all the way up to 21 months which is age appropriate!  So there are some pieces missing but saying he's at a 12 month level doesn't really represent his skills.  All of the specialists are going to meet sometime before next Thursday and then on Thursday, the physical therapist (since she's already going to be in our area anyway) is going to come by the house to present their plan to us and we sign and then we can start scheduling his appointments.  So now Zachary and I are trying to decide whether or not to keep him in the programs we already have going...

The way Tricare works is that Liam's PCM (Primary Care Manager) writes a referral for the service he needs.  We then get a letter in the mail with the name and phone number of the person Tricare wants us to see.  We call, make an appointment, and everything flows smoothly from there.  Haha.  For physical therapy, I called the practice they assigned us to but there were no pediatric physical therapists working there.  So I called Tricare to get the name/number of a place that would be able to help Liam but they don't have a separate list of practices with pediatric therapists so the person I was talking to gave me a list of about 10 places to call to see if they had pediatric therapists working there.  That night we went to dinner at Double T's Diner in Annapolis and I went to the bathroom (shocking) and there was a flyer for Cypress Creek Therapy (not one of the 10 places the Tricare lady suggested) where they have PT, OT and speech in the same building!  So I called them on the way home and they had a wait list for OT and speech but we went ahead and scheduled a PT evaluation and so I called Tricare the next day and got the referral fixed.  He had his eval last week and his first two appointments this week.  I'm definitely going to keep his appointments there while we're waiting to see how often the Infants & Toddlers program can provide appointments for him but OT and speech... I'm a little less certain about.

When we went to his OT evaluation, the lady was really nice but seemed a little uncertain about what to do with Liam.  Come to find out, he is the only patient under 2 she's worked with.  So I'm not feeling great about this place.  Cypress Creek, where he has PT, called letting us know they had a spot on the wait list become available but since our referral is with the first place, we have to get that switched.  And then with speech, for some reason, speech is different and Tricare has to have the evaluation before they'll approve the visits and that has been a nightmare.  I have a case manager working on it but she hasn't gotten anywhere and then Cypress Creek called two days ago saying a spot came open for speech.  So now I'm tempted to try to get all his referrals switched over to Cypress Creek because when Malia gets here, going to three places twice a week each is going to be rough.  Also, I liked the speech therapist but it's their policy that the parent stays in the waiting room while the therapist works with the child.  Now this sounds like a glorious opportunity for me to read in peace but it doesn't help me learn what kinds of exercises I should be doing with Liam at home to help him.  Thirty minutes twice a week doesn't seem like enough time to make up the 10-12 month deficit he's showing.  

The Infants & Toddlers Program have a coaching philosophy meaning they show us what to do- the parents are super involved which makes sense to me.  They come to the house so they can see what resources you have available.  We loved Brooks Rehab but there were times when they would show us something to do at home that required a surface at, say, chest height.  Well they had benches with adjustable height and we have to go home and check the ottoman or his little table or the side table in the living room- trying to find something that is the appropriate height and failing.  This way the specialists can find things we already have in our apartment that we can use.  I think this is just going to be really good for him- I'm super excited!

I don't have any pictures from his evaluation today so I'll have to share another little Liam story so I can include the picture that matches it.  For his birthday, I made a Pinterest board of ideas for gifts for Liam's birthday all centered around a Red Sox theme for his new bedroom.  One of my pins was a red bean bag chair which his grandparents got him.  We have it in our living room right now instead of his room and it is now his designated milk drinking chair.  He never sits still for very long but he will sit in this chair and drink his entire sippy cup of milk.

  

June 8 = Visit New Church Day

Zachary is in the full swing of classes now- he has one class that meets every Monday/Wednesday and he has another class that meets on two separate weekends.  This was the first of the two weekends so my mom, brother and his girlfriend came up to keep me company while Zachary was in DC at George Washington University.  I had them go to church with me this morning before they left- I've gone to a new church by myself before and it's one of the most lonely situations I've ever been in- especially if the church isn't a warm, welcoming one.  Although I'm glad they came, I think I would have been okay going to this one by myself because the people were so very nice and I'm so excited to have Zachary go next weekend with me and get his opinion.  It seemed to me that the focus was on the people and the sense of community- not the music or the appearance of the church- which I really liked.  I have no good pictures from today so I'll have to write about what we did yesterday!  We took a trip to toys-r-us and got Liam two new things- because he doesn't have anything to play with as it is ;)

We got him a "easy turn coupe" and a little swimming pool that we can put outside behind the apartments.  This child loves water- he would stay in the bathtub all day if we let him.  However, the pool water was way too cold so we learned that next time we'll have to fill it up a few hours before we take him out there so it has time to warm up.  I think once the temperature is good, we will have hours of entertainment at our fingertips.

 

He looks unsure about the car but at this point he was looking at me like this because he was inconvenienced by my making him pause for the picture.  He likes to get in and out and in and out over and over again.  He has a little trouble getting in the car but got really good at getting out safely and quite gracefully!  We would push him for a few steps and he'd be opening the door, ready to get out again.  He also knocked on the door every time he wanted to get in.  His speech therapist tried to teach him the sign for "open" but always made him knock before helping him make the sign so now anytime he wants anything opened- be it the door, a container of toys or he wants his tray off his highchair so he can get down- he knocks.  It's really cute.

Even though he didn't get in the pool, he still had fun splashing the water and throwing toys in the pool. 

June 6 = See Your Sister Day

Well I have a lot to write about concerning yesterday.  First- we had a 3D ultrasound done and got to see our little girl!  Malia likes to hold on to the umbilical cord.  My interpretation of this is that she's going to be my snuggle bug... she already has a comfort object!  I know 3D ultrasounds can be kind of creepy but if you're reading this you are interested in my little family so... oh well ;)

So I can't see much resemblance Liam and either of his parents but one mark I've made on Liam is... I had to wikipedia it... both of our philtrums (the vertical groove in the middle area of the upper lip, common to many mammals, extending from the nose to the upper lip) are very defined and you can see from the ultrasound that Malia's is too!  Anyway- that was one exciting part of our day yesterday.

The other part of the day I wanted to write about was not so exciting.  We were in target and I saw a girl who looked to be around 11 or 12 with cafe au lait spots all over her legs- which if you're reading this you probably already know cafe au lait spots often mean neurofibromatosis is likely to form and that Liam has several of them.  She turned around and she also had a lot of spots on her face.  My first reaction was- thank goodness Liam doesn't have all those spots and then I realized this girl probably didn't have all those spots when she was his age- it's common for them to increase with time- so it's possible he will have spots like that.  So I began to cry.  In target.  Part of me wanted to ask her when those spots developed and I was hoping she'd say at an age Liam has already passed.  But I was too busy crying- I couldn't compose myself enough to put my questions into tactful words.

I was ashamed of myself for crying.  Most of the time I don't think about Liam's probable NF diagnosis.  When I see his big cafe au lait spot while changing his diaper I'll reassure myself it's okay and I move on.  But I'm gonna guess this is the 3rd time I've let it all sink in and let myself feel the apprehension that I think is completely normal.  Liam is the cutest thing I've ever seen and spots on his face are not going to change that.  But it will change the way other people look at him.  People in target will notice something different and they will stare.  Some jerk kid in middle school is going to make fun of him if his legs are covered in brown spots.  And as a mother, I don't want that for him.  I don't want him to be part of the 50% of NF patients who also deal with learning disorders.  I don't want anything to be difficult for him; I want him to sail through life and never struggle.

But then I remembered a couple of verses (James 1:2-3) that we read over and over again when we were in the hospital after Liam had his seizures.  "Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance."  And reading this reminds me of how much I've grown from enduring trials.  I think of how much of a control freak I was before all of the random underways and duty nights that come with being a Navy wife.  I think of how anxious I was about everything until Liam was born and almost immediately taken to the NICU.  How much better of a parent I am now being able to stay calm in most situations than I would have been had I not gone through these trials.  And so I will be strong for my boy.  I will remind myself that trials produce perseverance and build character.  Children look at their parents' reactions before they react- we see this when he falls down or when he puts the puzzle piece in the right place.  He will cry more if we look scared and he will get more excited if we clap for him.  The same will apply in the trials that will come with NF- whatever they may be.

We have a book that we bought when I was pregnant with Liam called 100 Bible Verses to Bless Your Baby Boy and we read a page to him every night before he goes to bed.  I'm really into building traditions now- even though they may not mean anything to him now- so that when it does start to make sense and mean something, it's already routine.  Here's today's reading:

You are a Miracle in God's Eyes

Every perfect gift is from God.

These good gifts come down from the

Creator of the sun, moon, and stars.

James 1:17

When you came into the world, a miracle was

created by God.  The gift of life was given to you.

As you grow and experience life, you will have

moments of laughter, tears, sickness and good

health.  Each one of these is a stepping stone to 

becoming the person God has designed you to be.

How appropriate.  He didn't pay attention to a word we read but it was just what I needed to hear.

June 5 = Wake up on the Wrong Side of the Crib Day

Looks like today is going to be one of those days.  Now a week ago, every day was one of these days so I have no room to complain- he's been having a lot of overwhelmingly good, happy, well behaved days, so I'll take this one and hope he wakes up happier tomorrow- or maybe even after his nap today!  We are heading to OT soon.  Because of this mood he's in, I'm gonna see if I can persuade the therapist that he does better when I'm not in the room (which I do believe is true) and see if she'll let me sit in the waiting room and read while I take deep breaths.  I didn't write yesterday but June 4 = cloth diaper malfunction day.  He woke up from his nap very upset and so I ran in there to find his clothes soaked and immediately got him in the tub.  Giving a 21 month old a bath when you are 8 months pregnant is no small task but we did it and he was much happier after playing with the bubbles and rubber ducks.  Yesterday was also "let me smile at this older lady and make her year" day.  Liam was a very cooperative errand running partner yesterday- we had to go to Target and the grocery store and he was just as happy as could be.  At the grocery store a lady said "Hi Sea Captain" because that's what his shirt had labeled him as and he gave her the sweetest, biggest grin.  You could tell she was having a hard time that day and she went and told her friend "That adorable little boy just smiled at me and now my week has been made."  He is adorable.  And such a sweetheart.  And telling that story helped me gather the strength and patience to go get him ready for his appointment.  Cranky little thing.

June 3 = High Five Day

So far in his little life, Liam has had two greetings.  The first was blowing a raspberry.  We were successful in nipping that in the bud because as Zachary told him, "That may be cute now but you're reaching the age where it might not be pretty soon."  His next and current greeting was and is pointing to his nose and saying "NAH!"  So people will greet him and say "Hi!  How are you?!" in their excited baby voices and Liam will reply "NAH!"  They think he's saying "no" so we quickly let them know he's recently learned where his nose is he wants to let everyone else in on his little secret.  We've had countless people ask for a high five and I'm always uncomfortable when they make this request because I know it's not going to happen and that he's going to identify his favorite body part instead.  But that changed today!  Liam had a physical therapy evaluation today at Cypress Creek Therapy.  They were so professional and the office was so nice- we are really optimistic about him making a lot of progress here but what was immediately exciting was that he gave two people high fives.  It may not sound like something most parents would make a big deal over but for him to put together what someone is asking of him and the actual action is really exciting!  Things just seem to be coming so much faster to him these days.  As I type this he has been walking all over the apartment- down the hall, into the kitchen, back out of the kitchen, into the living room... I'm just so proud of him and this is all happening without any physical therapy appointments in a month and a half so it'll be so exciting and rewarding to see what happens starting next week when he gets back to going to PT twice a week!

June 2 = Snap Day

Liam started snapping today. We had a lady from the Anne Arundel Infants & Toddlers Program visit us today to talk about what services they offer and to get Liam’s medical and developmental history in preparation for his evaluation next week. We were telling her our concerns about his delay in walking and speech and Liam decided to walk all around the apartment and correctly identified his head, nose, eyes, ears, mouth and feet. He made us look like we were silly for worrying which is not a bad thing. He got a little bored while we were talking so Zachary grabbed some play dough from the other room and they started playing with it. He got some stuck to his thumb so he was using his middle finger to get it off and SNAP! He found he could make a pretty cool sound and so we’ve shown Grammy we can snap and we even snapped along with some music this afternoon. And that’s what led me to writing this blog. In a year, I might not remember the day he learned how to snap. Another cool thing he did today was take a nap on a double mattress instead of his crib. Liam has trouble sleeping anywhere but his crib- he doesn’t fall asleep in the middle of the floor while playing or doze off while we’re sitting on the couch watching the game at night… he has to be in his crib, holding Gigi the giraffe with his sound machine on and lights off. But he’s being evicted from his crib soon so we thought we should start transitioning him to his super cool bunk bed we bought him right before we moved up to Annapolis. The bottom bunk is a double bed and the top is a twin and there are stairs on the side for him to use one day. We also put a double mattress under the bed where eventually we will have the drawers that came with it. As an experiment, today we decided to pull the bottom mattress out and leave him in his room to play when he was really tired in hopes he’d climb up on the mattress and take a nap. He did! And here’s what we saw when we opened the door to check on him- he’s a very light sleeper so he probably had just sat up when we turned the door knob.



So we’re really optimistic about this Infants & Toddlers program- we hope it will help him catch up but mainly we hope his increased mobility and ability to express himself will lower his frustration. Most of the time he’s super happy and so fun to be around but sometimes he has days where he’s had enough of us not understanding what he’s trying to tell us and lets everyone know he’s done. Those days are occurring less often and we hope that trend continues!