I'm way behind again so these next several posts are going to be mainly pictures with a few words... Rosie will sleep anywhere...
I got an early Mother's Day gift today from Mr. Liam:
So these children have started making a huge mess in their room during
nap time so I decided today to have them "nap" where I could see them. Liam didn't go to sleep but Rosie did...
Zachary has duty tomorrow so we're celebrating Mother's Day today. We have a bit of a tradition that we do something outside on Mother's Day- it's been a picnic for the last few years but Zachary went to a marathon with the USNA marathon team recently and thought I would love to go where they were. However, he chose a different park on the same river so it would be somewhere he hadn't already seen so we could experience something new together! As part of my morning routine, I looked at my facebook feed and saw this and while Liam doesn't have Autism, I can relate to this. It says "Being an Autism parent is like flying one of these for the first time without a manual in the dark while all the passengers are telling you what you are doing wrong."
The first part of my special day my sweet husband planned for me was getting chickfila for breakfast. As a bonus, we went inside instead of just going through the drive thru. I prefer eating inside because it's less of a mess and it's just easier for the kids. So we went inside and the kids went straight to the play area. Zachary went to order and at first it was going really well. Then a mom came in with her two kids. One was probably a little younger than Liam and the other was probably 6 or so. The older one looked panicked when he saw there were other kids in the play area and he quietly said something to the younger one along the lines of "behave." After a few minutes I could tell the mom had her hands full with the younger one. There is no judgment in that statement because I have my hands full with my older one. He was really loud and wanted to do what he wanted to do when he wanted to do it- again, just like Liam. The older brother kept trying to keep him in check and was stressing himself out and the mom looked at me a few times like she was going to say something but decided against it. As I thought in my head about what I wanted to say, the mom decided to take the kids and leave- a decision I make pretty often. So I didn't get a chance to say this but this is what I wanted to say: I get it. You don't have to explain this to me. I am a safe place. The fact that you got both of your kids dressed, not to mention yourself- you look really cute by the way- is an accomplishment. The fact that you talked yourself into bringing them somewhere where they could eat yummy food and play is impressive. Especially when you're the only adult available, it's a lot easier to stay at home. So good for you. You can let him scream as loud as he wants- the people outside of this well insulated room can't hear us and he's not bothering me. At this moment, I'm thankful my kid's not screaming but I can handle it if yours does. Thank you for being real- for letting that face of exasperation show through instead of pretending this is the first time this has ever happened and where did he learn this?? I've worn the same face a lot. And I know it's usually met with superior, "thank God that's not me" smirks or straight up, "get a handle on your kid lady" glares. But keep up the fight. One day, you'll go to Chickfila and you'll get through breakfast and playtime and it'll be easier. I'm not there yet either but I hold out hope it'll happen. It feels like it's not worth it but each time you take him, you tell him you believe in him, you love him and you want what's best for him. And each time you leave carrying a screaming, flailing child out to the car and you still believe in him, love him and want what's best for him, you're proving you're an amazing mom.
The only constructive thing I've had someone say to me in one of these times was someone who said, "God gives special needs kids to special moms." In this day and age, everyone's so worried about being politically correct. That was a brave thing to say- what if I didn't accept my child had special needs- I could have been offended. That's probably why I didn't say anything- out of fear of how she'd react. It's sad really. I really just wanted to encourage her and tell her I can empathize but you just never know so I kept my mouth shut. And right after she left, our food was ready, and so Malia and I went down and sat with Zachary right outside the play area where we could easily see Liam and he could continue to play. After about ten minutes, a lot of kids came in and started playing and Liam lost control over the room and he didn't like that. A mom opened the door for him thinking she was helping him out but he had a breakdown because he likes to be the one opening the door. Poor woman- she had no clue what she did wrong. Welcome to the club. So I ended up taking Liam to the car and having him eat his breakfast in the car while Malia and Zachary finished up. Too bad the mom from earlier didn't stick around and see my kid have a meltdown- maybe it would have made her feel better! So we left from there to Great Falls Park on the Potomac River. We had such an awesome time- it was beautiful and my kids just love being outside so they were content as could be! Liam hopped off the stroller a couple of times because he wanted to walk but for the most part they loved it and were super cooperative!
And second, Zachary gave me my mother's day gift early today- shocking! It's a Road ID (something runners use in case they're in an emergency, there's a phone number on the band for a good Samaritan to find) and it says "It is well so have no envy and no fear. 0513 Love 0626."
Zachary and I talk about tattoos kind of often- we'll ask questions like "if you had to get a tattoo of just words, what would it say?" I used to say "No Envy and No Fear" from my favorite Joshua Radin song. I think it's a great way to try to live your life. But recently, I've changed my answer to "It is Well." I love the hymn and the idea that no matter if things are going well or if things are really rough, it should be well with our souls because we have Jesus. Circumstances don't matter. They're temporary. It's really hard to remember in the moment so I think it'd be a neat tattoo so that when Liam's throwing a tantrum in the middle of Target or Malia is saying "No Mommy," in her sassy, sassy way- I can look at it and say, "It is well." My dad would say "or you could write it on your hand..." So anyway, after hearing both of those answers, Zachary made my band say that. There's no phone number because you'll never catch me running- the only place I exercise is in the comfort of my gym where they have paperwork on me.
So I left a cliff hanger on yesterday's post- I know you were sitting on the edge of your seat wondering what Zachary was doing. Well he made us a wonderful Mother's Day dinner- barbecue chicken with veggies and even made some sangria. There were flowers and a new pretty pitcher for our homemade sangria and he set everything and everyone up outside on our new patio- it was such a nice dinner that we shared together.
And after dinner, we put both kids in their own umbrella stroller and went for a little stroll. The kids were so cute wanting to talk to each other and interact- it melted my heart!
And on our way back, we checked the mail and my Mother's Day present had arrived! A necklace with two charms- an L and an M for my two babies
So it was a wonderful day and I still had actual Mother's Day to look forward to! Zachary prepared breakfast for all of us- taters 'n' eggs, chocolate chip pancakes and bacon- and I got to read my cards Zachary and Liam picked out for me- Malia trusted them to make good choices.
Then we got everyone dressed and ready and headed to Home Depot to get stuff to make a vegetable garden- I had done some research but we kinda just winged it once we got there- I knew I wanted squash, green beans and cucumbers but there was a packet of four seeds with the three I wanted and some lettuce so we went with that and got two garden beds and soil. The babies were so good and continued loving this umbrella strollers side by side situation.
Then we headed to Chili's for lunch. I had been craving some chips & salsa. Malia was ready to sleep.
I got a picture with my favorite toddler:
The service was horrendous. I won't bore you with details but just know it was bad. But the chips & salsa were good and spending time with my little family was perfect so we didn't really care. The table behind us was complaining to the manager and Zachary had a lot of fun acting really obnoxious and saying "Yeah! Us too!" He just likes causing a scene- he wasn't mad but he had fun acting like he was.
Then we went home and had a pretty low key evening- I put Liam to bed while Zachary was working on something and he sat in my lap while I read him books. I had him lay in bed and told him goodnight and we said our prayers and then I left... I didn't really want to but it was time for him to go to sleep. Now he usually takes his time going to sleep- he chats with Gigi, climbs on the window sill, pretends his beds are part of an obstacle course... but tonight it didn't seem like he was going to go to sleep on his own so I happily went back up there with a drink and he sat in my lap again and let me hold him and I just rocked him back and forth while we were sitting on the floor. This is a very rare opportunity for me so I took it and when he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore I laid him back in bed. Him saying "mama" the day before was probably my favorite part of this Mother's day weekend but this was a close second.
